” Josh gulped some air. “Callum occasionally likes to watch me fuck another guy, and we have taught one lad a few lessons before. There are a few rules we stick to, but the main one is everyone is comfortable or nothing happens. Callum stays, there’s no mouth to mouth kissing, no means no, and whatever happens stays between us, ” I explained. “We’re going to head off after this drink. Do you want to walk with us and think about it en route?” With a nod, we all finished our drinks and set off. Arriving at our hotel, Josh dithered for a moment, then seemed to square his shoulders and straightened his spine. With another nod, he opened the door for me. In our room, Callum got some water for us as I waved Josh into a chair. Dropping my bag on the dressing table, I ditched my heels. Gesturing to Josh’s lap, I asked, “May I?” He looked unsure, so I just settled myself in his lap. “You can touch me if you like. I only bite if you ask nicely.” My comment fell flat, he just looked more. It's against every rational standard that could be brought to bear here, but you're right. You know how I feel about you even though I haven't said a word aloud. And you're right, too, that I know how you feel about me without your saying it. Please understand that I worry simply because... well, because it's hard to trust myself. I ask myself if I really know those things, or if I'm just telling myself I know them because that's the way to score a hot chick, to live out a fantasy that so many middle-aged guys probably share. Hell, not just middle-aged guys: I bet you were the star of many fantasies from boys age eleven onwards. My reluctance didn't come from not wanting you, from not wanting this. It came from knowing that I did want this, and not knowing how much self-deception I might be capable of to get it."I lay back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "That's why we have rules and societal expectations about age," I said.She rolled on top of me, straddling me. "Yes," she.
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